Well now folks we are back!

Ok!… So I have made several attempts in the last few days to document the past week in France, but each time it ended in a fit of laughter as I recalled moments of madness, one way of describing it is, we painted our collective arses Black and went Mad!! Go on ye good things!!

We set off on our little jaunt last Tuesday morning and made good time to Rosslare, the 159 was stuffed with all our gear, and we arrived at the Ferry in good time, around 4:30pm the phone rings and Mike Milea (Me-Lee as the French say)is on the line, “the truck is fecked” he said, Mike had his own car in the back and was picking up Robert Swaine and his car in New Ross, so up the road we go from the port, pack in more stuff into an already bloated Alfa Romeo 159 and head back. Robert managed to borrow a van and set off with Mike’s car only just making the ferry in time. To say things had turned left would be an understatement! But the did, and they continued right on!

For some strange reason, call it ESP, we all met in the lounge onboard, and for some unknown reason, we spontaneously started to sing My Lovely Horse, it was in perfect key, we even had a harmony going, the French people were clueless. But some Welsh people in the corner were busting a gut they were doing so much laughing.

Off we go and follow Denis Hogan jnr to the Auchan Hypermarket, Supermarkets are confusing enough at the best of times for the Irish male, but this was like Aldi on steroids. Well anyway we grabbed a trolly and set off shopping, food of every description and wine of course was piled in along with a Bar-B-Que. Remember our five star accommodation, mikes truck was stuck in Ireland and we had nothing!

UTAH Beach

 We eventually set off for Utah beach for some sightseeing, Utah is a very sobering spot to visit, Tanks abandoned where they stopped, guns, bullets etc still there after all these years. A visit to the museum is well worth it. Suffice to say until you visit you really don’t comprehend the sacrifices the Allied forces endured to bring about the downfall of the Nazi’s.     

After Utah we split up, some of the guys were going on to other places, so we set off with our two vehicle convoy, three if you count the Cosworth on the trailer for St Gouéno, many many miles later with constant heckling from the white van men following behind, we stopped for food.

We had stopped in a little village about 20 miles from St Gouéno, forks in hand we set out to find food! Duck, Salmon etc, and not a sign of a bit of cabbage and Hairy bacon in sight. Just as we were about to give up all hope, Jessica spotted a sign in a Café window that brought a tear to Roberts eye, it was Burger and fries plus a drink for €12. I will tell you lads it was first class. Afterwards we headed for the Paddock.

 

Tithe tábhairne

 

Off to the village we went and we ran into Mr& Mrs Denis Hogan Snr who were the advance vanguard of team Ireland, and in a matter of moments the word had got out that the Paddies were in town. and out of nowhere the folks of St Gouéno came out to give us a BIG French cead mile failte, after much hugging and kissing (a French thing) the wine flowed and the owner of the Café even produced a white T-Shirt and marker which all of the drivers signed.

Hotel Alfa Romeo

 Well the weary travellers headed back to the paddock and settled in for the night, Robert & Mike had the one star Opel van, Jessica had her tent and I of course checked into the five star Hotel Alfa Romeo complete with heated seats. The designers of the 159 have thought of everything, sooner or later some poor sod is going to be left stuck at the side of the road over night, but Alfa had the foresight to allow the drivers seat to fold completely back and it does really make an excellent bed. I should know! I slept there for six nights.  

It was now Thursday morning and the rest of team Ireland arrived in dribs and drabs, and in a matter of hours the paddock was a hive of activity with drivers from all over Europe arriving. The Irish team set about setting up their tent city, and really lads it was a hoot, but after a lot of fecking and blinding the Occupy a field in France group settled in. I never really asked them what they were protesting about, lack of wine I guess!

As usual Thursday nite there is a party in the village hall for the Irish & GB drivers, I know! Its nothing but parties all weekend guys, the folks of St Gouéno had laid on some spread, food, wine, cider, wine, beer, did I mention wine? Well it was some bash. The mini bus was Roberts van and we all piled in and set off.

The food and wine were excellent, Rory was a bit upset when someone made away with his bottle of cider from the table, and was even less impressed when he was handed an empty bottle. The picture says it all!!but sure its all in good fun. By the way we managed to fit 22 people in the van on the way back, Not Pretty!

On Friday morning scrutiny got under way and Robert managed to get his Punto sent across on the ferry and he and Mike set off with the transporter to collect it. The rest of the team signed on did their paperwork including Paul O’Connell & Ben O’Brian who had entered two BMW Diesel cars, and the battle of the duirty diesels had begun.

Da Telly

We set off down the hill for a look and although the road was partially closed they allowed us up; could it have something to do with my oversized Irish Hat? Well anyways on reaching Fer a Chavel hairpin a massive big screen was being put in place, cameras would be placed along the hill so that when a car set off or passed you, you could follow its progress on screen, how cool is that? All around they were setting up the food halls, beer tents etc.

Saturday morning and the camp was busy, practice started at 9am and the lads headed off down the hill, for Trish Daly in her Mini this was her first trip to the Hill, and boy was herself and the Mini enjoying it, Mike Melia (me-Lee) encountered electrical problems but were quickly sorted and he quickly found the pace getting faster and faster as the weekend went on. This was the first proper test of Nizworth and it passed with flying colours. Robert Swaine in his trusty Punto posted some good practice times on Saturday. As for the duirty diesel brigade they did their best to poison me, lads next year I want a gasmask!

Le crazy Irish Driver

When Simon McKinley took to the hill the French fans everywhere cheered him on, his spectacular driving style has won him many many French fans, it’s a sight to behold to watch Simon sideways around the hairpin one hand on the wheel and the other waving to the fans, and all at 100+ MPH.

Rory Stephens

Rory Stephens new Radical SR8 seemed to have an oil leak problem early on in the paddock, but Simon and the lads sorted it out, and like a NASA Rocket the pre launch sequence for the Radical could begin, and a short time later Rory was flying round the bends of the hill, the speed of the Radical SR8 is startling but as usual Rory makes it look all so simple to control this fire breathing beastie.   

Deidre McKinley was looking very relaxed in her car as she rounded Fer a Cheval, although she did not engage in showboating like Simon, Deidre posted some impressive times during practice as did Michael Feeney in his Rover.

The Italian jobs

The Italian jobs of Joe Courtney & Senan O’Connor were amongst the first of the Paddies up the hill, Later Senan had a big moment at Fer a Chavel, but the best was yet to come!

The duirty diesel drivers were also battling out and poisoning us all in the process, Ben was seen polishing his BMW off the Armco before the big hairpin. And Paul O’Connell’s car clobbered a clay bank just after the start, bringing an end to the diesel battle.

Surfing the French way

Hogan Bros

 

 

 

Denis Hogan senior had the honour of the being the oldest competitor on the hill, at 76yrs he posted times in his wonderful Avenger BRM that would shame drivers half his age, Denis Jnr was having a ball in his BMW, clearly a car as powerful as his M3 was right at home on the hill

Well done lads..

 

 

 Trish Daly won her class at her first attempt on the hill, Rory Stephens also won his class, ahh but sure isn’t Rory just a class act anyways.

And Simon came second overall in the masters, a wonderful result for the Irish, but wait a minute, Simon was the only Irish driver listed! All the rest of ye were listed as GB..

So how did it all end up? well there was the soccer/rugby match that took place in the paddock, at times it looked like a battle scene from brave heart, other times there was legs and arses all over the shop, for some reason both sides decided to charged Simon McKinley resulting in some weird sexual scrum! After that I headed to bed, it was all too much for this sensitive soul. But that was the week, it was mad, it was funny, it was epic, and I want MORE!

The pictures are in the Gallery here

If you made it to here you did well, I buggered off hours ago and had ice cream..

To everyone we say thank you, I would write more but I can’t stop laughing, roll on St Gouéno 2014